Recently I posted about my difficulties with post-partum depression, and how I’ve been slowly dealing with it. I received some really nice comments and emails from it, and I’m so grateful to you guys for reaching out.
I finally feel like the fog I’ve lived in for the past year or so is finally clearing. Activities and events don’t fill me with dread and panic so much any more. I am finding myself interested in new things, excited about biking and jogging and cross-stitching and things I would have shrugged my shoulders to in the past.
This is a huge relief to me, but with that feeling also comes the fear that it will come back all too soon.
What if this is just a clear day and the weather turns for the worst again?
I hate living with that fear seeded in the back of my mind. I hate thinking that although right now I’m feeling good and am agreeing to go do things again, what if I change my mind? It’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind, but out of this emotional, irrational, scary feeling? It seems too silly.
I suppose I’ll have to take things as they come. Live day by day.
I wonder if anyone else goes through their day repeating motivational quotes, encouraging words meant for self-help books. Does anyone else do that, or just me?
Sometimes I feel that I’m thinking in clichés, too much time spent on tumblr reading inspirational crap.
But other than that, right now I’m feeling a lot better than I was, and that’s something to be thankful for.