Go Run

Life can be so funny sometimes. I started off this year wanting to really pull myself together again, live the life I had always imagined. Together my husband and I started to slowly eat better, in March we actually quit alcohol for the month  and were eating healthy foods about 90% of the time (a girl still needs her emergency chocolate!). I was so motivated to get this healthy goal of mine going.

But in April, my motivation started to wane. We started to have more and more “cheat” nights, started ordering pizza again, and by May we were back to our weekend food binges, Tuesday night pizza, wine on a Thursday (because why not?), etc, etc. I realised that the 12 pounds I lost in March had all crept back on.

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Suppose children were brought here on earth to teach their parents a lesson: what could you learn from your child? It’s our role as parents to teach them, right? And yet every single day I learn something new from my kids. Today’s lesson involved the art of doing nothing, which in Italian is  l’arte di non fare nient. This is a lesson in zen, truly, it’s not just doing it’s nothing – it’s accepting the silence, appreciating the stillness, allowing your mind to drift and wander without worries or care. It’s a skill.

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I’ve been following Jenni’s challenge at Story of My Life, almost from the beginning of May, but haven’t actually posted any of them until today! For your information, today’s challenge is: Something someone told you about yourself that you’ll never forget.

I was in the second or third grade. I had my brown hair, my big mouth always getting me in trouble, I was super loud, always running rampant, and eating too many sweets. I was never a ‘fat kid’ but I was never part of the skinny club. My little belly was always there, my thighs have touched as long as I can remember being on this earth. Safe to say, I weighed ten pounds more than I should have my whole life. But I was always told how pretty I was, so I think everyone can overlook that extra junk in my trunk (or appreciate it for what it is!).


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After the births of each of my children, I went through periods of postpartum depression, which I am still going through today. The one surprising thing is that after the birth of each child, the PPD symptoms were different.  Just like each child is completely different, so were my mental health problems, I suppose.

I was 22 when my first child was born, I was young, I was not prepared for the realities of motherhood, and really, who is? But I know in my heart that my maturity level wasn’t truly ready to accept the changes in my life. I was weepy for the first few months of my daughter’s life. They called it the “baby blues”. I would cry at the drop of a hat, I wasn’t ‘sad’, I didn’t feel ‘depressed’, but I would cry for no reason at all. I tried to keep it hidden away, pretend everything was okay in my life, and on the surface I thought I had succeeded. Only the closest people in my life really knew, and the closest ones usually receive the shit end of the stick (like my poor husband found out)…

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Hi and welcome to West Coast Mama, my new blog.

You might know me as the Fab Brunette, as I’ve been blogging for years under that name at http://www.fabbrunette.com. When the blog initially started, I was in my mid-twenties, I had a boyfriend, our daughter and a dog. I viewed the world through rose-coloured glasses, set my eyes on all things luxurious and expensive, and tried to achieve the perfect lifestyle. I started out living in Toronto, ON, with dreams to move overseas to London, yet soon after our plans changed, and we headed over to Vancouver, BC, to the hippie West Coast.

This is starting to sound like an About page, which it’s not supposed to be. I’m trying to explain why I’ve outgrown my old blog, how I lost the passion for blogging, even if momentarily and randomly throughout the past few years, and why I’ve decided to start a new blog. Fresh, clean, truly me.

Some time in the past couple of years, blogging stopped being fun for me. Not all of the time, but most of the time, I struggled with topics to write about. Sometimes for reasons unknown, but sometimes I felt the popularity contest that had become blogging really started getting to me – the “niche” lifestyle blogs… it  left me feeling very confused and conflicted about what to write about. My blog had always been a personal blog – meaning I wrote about my life and occasionally the things I adored, things I wanted, tv shows I’d seen or books I had read. It was a mish mash of my life, all on one dot com.

The problem with that is that your readers will vary, sometimes you’ll get a lot of traffic, sometimes you won’t. I had always snubbed my nose at statistics, thinking I didn’t care how popular I was – I was just happy with making connections with other bloggers and people around the world with similar interests to mine. But truly, it got to me when I would find a new blog and discover that a random post would get over 100 comments for one instagrammed picture.  It blew my mind, and the more research I did on blog traffic, and how to make your blog optimized for search engines… I started to lose my way.

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